The best beauty buys according to me!

Bare minerals foundation:   When I first decided to give this a try I was assured by the eager sales lady that sold it to me that it would provide amazing coverage and clear up my acne prone skin immediately.  I've never wanted to use another foundation since and believe me, I've tried them all!   Amazing coverage, blends easily, stays on all day, one of the best features about this foundation is that it doesn't get greasy or oily even on hot days.  It feels light but provides excellent coverage and really did clear my skin up.   And at 20 bucks (the bottle lasts me about 3-4 months) this is truly a steal.

Blush:  Nars orgasm:   Okay it truly is THE best, like an orgasm for your cheeks!  It's a peachy-pink with a golden shimmer.  It can be very sheer or applied heavier if you like a real flush on your cheeks.  It always looks super natural, like your cheeks were just kissed with a touch of sunlight.   The price tag however is a little heafty, runs anywhere from 30-35 dollars (but lasts easily 6 months), so I've been on a quest for a nars replica that will work just as well, I've found Elf studio contouring blush and bronzer set, which can be purchased for under 10 bucks.  It's VERY close, but keep in mind you aren't getting as much blush, because it is a combo bronzer so you will have to stock up more often which brings to mind, why not just fork out the extra bucks for something that will last you twice as long like the nars?


MAC eyeliner in smolder:   This is the softest, most blend-able black.  I've been wearing it for years because it can be smudged to perfection to create the ultimate smokey eye or if you'd like a simple eye it stays in place beautiful for a clean affect.   Runs about 15 dollars in department stores.  I can find it on ebay for about 10 bucks.  Loreal eyeliner in carbon black is very similar but is close to the price of the MAC one, and the MAC is superior.

Lipstick which doubles as a gloss:  Clinique lipstick in black honey.  I've been wearing it for years.  It's an oldie but a goodie!  The color lasts for ever, especially over primer.  When you open the package and roll up the tube it's an almost jarring deep burgundy color but I assure you it does not go on like that.   It goes on like a sheer berry with a hint of bronze, and it's very gloss like... sheer and gorgeous!  It can act as a fun, beachy, nude summer color, or be built up for a deeper, more polished look.  It's an easy, universal color to pull off.  Runs about 15 bucks, last a few months.

Mascara :  Loreal voluminous mascara:  Tried them all, this is the one I keep coming back to. Mascaras are difficult to rate though, as some people prefer certain things from their mascara.  I hate a super wet mascara that smudges everywhere, but I also hate a super dry mascara that dries out in a few weeks.  This seems to be the perfect combination.  It plumps and lengthens.  Apply two coats, curl, curl, curl.... and you're good to go!

Eyeshadows:  MAC, MAC, and did I mention MAC?? Nothing else compares. 
I've tried so many different brands of eyeshadow I've lost count, and I always return to MAC. There are many reasons for this.   QUALITY! They are highly pigmented/very saturated colors, show up true (with a primer) and will last all day long.   A beautiful selection of colours, walking up to a MAC counter feels like being in a botanical garden or a dessert bar, I feel overwhelmed with vibrant colours to choose from.  They have a great selection of colours to choose from and are always adding limited edition colours to the range so that even those of us who have been collecting for ages don't run out of new ones to try!
They aren't super expensive considering the quality - particularly if you buy the refill pans and purchase the 15-pan palettes.  They last forever and are definitely worth the investment (about 15 bucks per shadow). They also don't irritate my sensitive eyes even if I wear them all day long.
And finally, I love that the brand is so established that many blogs and tutorials use the shades - this makes it really easy to re-create celebrity and tutorial looks with the exact same colours.
Overall I highly recommend checking these out if you haven't already, you won't be disappointed!

T.D. Jakes Let Go

I will rarely post poetry or others quotes in my blog, usually it's me writing my own goofy stuff.  But I had to share this, it's one of the most profound works of literature I've ever read.   I'm do not consider myself a religious person but I consider myself a very spiritual person and it my darkest hours of need and self destructive behavior, I have come to find alot of solace in this.  It brings me back to where I should be, knowing my own worth and value.

By T. D. Jakes

There are people who can walk away from you.

And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you: let them walk. I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone.

When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.

The Bible said that, they came out from us that it might be made manifest that they were not for us. For had they been of us, no doubt they would have continued with us. [1 John 2:19]

People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay. Let them go.

And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person it just means that their part in the story is over. And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead.

You've got to know when it's dead. Stop trying to raise the dead!

You've got to know when it's over. Let me tell you something. I've got the gift of good-bye. It's the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in good-bye. It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He'll give it to me. And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it. Stop begging people to stay.

Let them go!!

If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to .....

LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to past hurts and pains .....

LET IT GO!!!

If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your worth.....

LET IT GO!!!

If someone has angered you .........

LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge......

LET IT GO!!!

If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction......

LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents .....

LET IT GO!!!

If you have a bad attitude.......

LET IT GO!!!

If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better......

LET IT GO!!!

If you're stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a new level in Him......

LET IT GO!!!

If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship.......

LET IT GO!!!

If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help themselves......

LET IT GO!!!

If you're feeling depressed and stressed .......

LET IT GO!!!

If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling yourself
and God is saying "take your hands off of it," then you need to......

LET IT GO!!!

Let the past be the past. Forget the former things.
GOD is doing a new thing for you!

LET IT GO!!!

Get Right or Get Left .. think about it, and then ....

LET IT GO!!!

"The Battle is the Lord's!"

Extra fuzzy peaches & fermented sippy cups.

I've struggled with this theory for many years & now I'm finally coming to terms with the ten percent side of me that might have betrayed the other 90 percent, the hard core feminist!  This 10 perecent has reared it's ugly head in the past few years,  the percent that asks if traditional roles in the household were easier.  Efff MORALE, I'm not in particularly a moral person.  I'm a logical person, some may disagree but for the most part I think I am.  I'm simply thinking in EASIER terms.

The roles of wife, Mother, cook, babysitter, bill payer, grocery shopper, the maker surer of shit not hitting the fan, and holding down a job may have finally become too much for me to bare.   Or is it?  Can I really handle all the pressure of doing all things in my life above and beyond while still having a few moments to read a book, eat a muffin with my coffee in the morning or tweeze my eyebrows and bathe in the evening?  Can I do all these things well without crumbling and damn-it, should I really be expected to? `What about time for myself, maybe hitting up the gym, finding time to blog/write, have friends, or work on the things I enjoy like art & yoga?  

Every few weeks I'll do my best to clean out my purse, and I'll pull out something that makes me cringe with embarrassment, crushed crackers, broken crayons, chewed up gum stuck to the lining, smashed and melted lipsticks.  Today I found one of the most extraordinarily disgusting things I've ever seen, a moldy peach pit wrapped in a paper towel.  I think I may have won the 'gross things you shouldn't ever admit on the internet' award.   Every few weeks I try to clean out the cars, to find anything I might've missed while unloading groceries, toys, diaper bags, purses, food, and all the other crap I unload daily.  Yesterday I found a sippy cup that had lodged itself way under the seat and the apple juice inside had fermented into such an odor that I didn't even bother washing the cup.  I just threw it away, because I'm pretty sure that the fermentation had permanently poisoned the cup, could've even created craters in it.  Did June cleaver have these issues?  Did she forget about the bread in the back of the fridge that's been sitting there for 3 weeks and had taken on an unattractive shade of lime green?   Everyday I spend at least a few hours cleaning up the house, working on laundry, organizing myself and my life and sometimes it's still not enough!  I've never been the type to tolerate filth, so when I find moldy bread in my own fridge, it makes me want to regurgitate the PB&J I had for lunch.  These are the days where I really question my ability to be super Mom.  

We've taken it all on!  We decided that we wanted to do it all and why shouldn't we?  Maybe it should be phrased more like...'Why shouldn't some?'   Because I'm exhausted!  Because I don't want to do it ALL everyday anymore.  I just wanna do a few things and do them well.   I don't want to be everything to everyone.  I want to be enough to have enough time for myself, my child, my family, friends and the things that I enjoy so much.   I want to enjoy a long walk on a breezy afternoon and sometimes I wanna be able to do that everyday.  Why shouldn't I?   I want to be with my son when he's little, my basic instinct cringes to leave my son to go to work, not because I dislike my job but because I want to be with my baby when he's this little.  The years go by, no bullshit!  Why do I work so hard to win the rat race if I can't even enjoy being in the midst of it all.  There are days where I wanna lock myself in a closet wielding a broom to keep myself away from all the sources pulling at me.  I'll beat them all off one by one!

Bottom line is if anyone gets pulled in too many directions all the time, they may go a little psychotic.  They may lose it every once in a while.  Maybe this Mom should begin sporting water bottles full of inebriating liquids.  I'm not cut out for it, I'm a high anxiety, loon sometimes and I make no apologies.  Some women can do it all without getting flustered, but that's just not me
.
So if Mommy is expected to do it all everyday, while still working, making time for herself and making sure Daddy comes home to a warm meal and a *cough* fun time, and making sure that the kids are entertained, and nurtured, then don't expect her not to fecking lose it every once in a while!  I give up trying to rear the perfect child, be the perfect Mom, wife, friend, employee and all the other labels.  How do you choose what goes by the wayside? Where do I compromise and not perform as well as I should?  You don't, you just do what you can and if that's that enough for some people then you tell them to go fly a kite.  I'll be the best I can be and if I find a moldy peach in my purse, I'll take the time for myself to blog about the damned peach pit!

Mr. Palm Tree Arse.

About 2 years ago we rescued a blonde Shih tzu out of a crack house in Hemet.  You may say that this scenario would never happen, but in fact it did.  We picked him up off of Craigslist, and a woman who urged us to come get him at 10 pm otherwise he was going to the shelter first thing in the morning, because she was moving.  So we packed up our things quickly and made the drive to the pit of hell.   We swerved through mountains, meth labs and saw a few things I'd rather not describe on our way down there but there was something that kept us going, the sweet little puppy that would've been taken to a shelter if we didn't show up.  

We pulled into the drive way and walked up the porch to a find a scary woman with pits in her face holding a mangy, fur ball.  He was so natted and covered in hair that you couldn't even see his face but he instantly hopped into our arms.  Being lil Ms. Dog whisperer, I knew instantly he wanted out of the pit of hell and quickly.   Against my better judgement I begged to use the restroom, we had been driving for almost 2 hrs and I just couldn't hold it anymore.  With must hesitance she let me into the house.  What I found was very sad, about 7 dogs, and 6 kids all of which were filthy.   The house was awful, smelled to high heaven of urine and the woman that had answered the door was screaming atrocities at everyone she passed as she lead me to the bathroom.   There was no conversation, she wanted us to take the dog and leave.   Everything I asked, she dismissed.  I noticed on my way to the bathroom that there was a large padlock on the fridge, which would explain why her kids were so thin.  It looked like a house you'd find in a sick horror film in the middle of the desert.  I was scared for these children and animals.   It was apparent she was not moving as there were no boxes, and she was twitching so badly asking for her 50 dollar dog adoption fee that I knew she must've wanted us there that night so she had money to get her fix.   There was no other reason to have someone come in such a mad rush and at such an hour.   We were idiots for putting ourselves at risk the way we did, but we were impulsive and something told me we had to go rescue this little pup.  I'm not usually one to jump to conclusions about a person without really knowing them but I knew in my gut that this situation was not an acceptable living environment for kids or animals for that matter.  I couldn't have lived with myself if I had done nothing.  These kids and pets didn't have a chance! 

We picked up Kirby and got him out of there.  I wish we could have taken the whole lot of them but we would've needed a large bus.  The next morning I took Kirby to the groomer and on my way there I made a phone call to CPS & the Humane Society.

To this day Kirby is the best dog we've ever had.   He's sweet, patient with Caleb & looks at all of us with such admiration and love.   On top of that he's the cutest dog that ever lived with a loveable palm tree tail that he wags constantly.   We call him Mr. Palm tree Arse! 

Some of the most loving creatures and people come out of desperate situations.  Life is messy, sometimes even for a dog but everyone deserves a chance.  Kirby got his and he's given us more than he knows in return.  

Ooooh the agony of being cursed with the worst feet EVER!

A blog about feet you might ask?  If you had feet like mine, you'd write about them too.
As many of you may know I work at a busy restaurant & have been doing so for almost 11 years. 11 years of standing on my feet on tile for a living, of running around like a crazed maniac to deliver drinks, food and the occasional slip on the milk or blister on the toe!  Days when I come home almost sobbing at the throbbing of my feet, and begging my dear hubby to rub them. There are days when I'm surprised to wake up and find that I still have feet.  Being 4 months pregnant & being that I work on tile floors and sometimes stand for 7 plus hours makes finding a good pair of shoes really difficult.  Let me further explain.   This might be an easier feat if I had normal... FEET!  But in fact I have super wide feet, with a very high arch, and it doesn't help that it is August and today it was 105 degrees and that makes me swell up like a puffed pastry, which makes finding comfortable shoes nearly impossible. Now,  I don't mean slightly wide/puffed up, I mean the sort of wide that would give me the ability to climb very high trees, maybe even a palm tree to grab at a coconut or two without any gear, just with feet, like a monkey.

It's gotta be the most frustrating thing ever.  So when people ask me why I don't just buy better shoes while working, I look at them with disdain.   After all, I've tried every pair of shoe on the market, from 20 dollar shoes to 200 dollar shoes to find comfortable ones.  I will forever have a love/hate relationship with shoes.   I buy pretty shoes, hoping that I can squeeze my gorilla like feet into them & then they cause me such utter pain that they wind up sitting in my closet, never to see the light of day again.   But I don't return them, because they are pretty and every 28 year old woman should be able to wear pretty shoes. I sometimes limp along with blisters on my wide toes and heels, hobbling like I have a broken leg because I'm insistent upon wearing those damn pretty shoes.

It becomes a very sad day when you find yourself browsing the 90 year old womans orthopedic shoe areas. Did I mention that before I became pregnant with Caleb I was a size 9, after my pregnancy with Caleb I'm a 10-11 in shoes.  Now if my feet grow again, I'll for sure be shopping in the walmart womens dinosaur, ugly shoe section because I won't have a choice.  After about a size 10-11 it's slim pickens for shoes, in fact most of the 'pretty shoes' don't go past size 10!  What will I do at that point?  Resort to wearing orthopedic, dinosaur shoes at age 28???

  So for this pregnancy I have purchased a pair of crocs, and a pair of birkenstocks!   Excited about his purchase?  Not really, this purchase was out of utter necessity.   If you've ever seen these shoes, you know they are they type of shoe that makes you want to throw up a little bit in your mouth, but Ohhhh sweet Jesus are they ever comfy!   Because it's summer I can get away with wearing cute, fun sandals and flip flops when I'm not working, but I know the further along into my pregnancy I get the more swollen my feet may tend to get and that's when I will have to resort to wearing the birkis & the crocs all the time.

My rant is concluded with, why the HELL can't they make cute shoes in wider, larger sizes for women that have this exact issue?  I cannot be the only one!  Or maybe I am....  *curses and runs away!* 

A few of my favorite things.

 A long list of the most pleasurable things in life (in my humble opinion!)


~Rocking my son to sleep, feeling his warm drool dribble down my shoulder, staring at his rosy cheeks, loving him more than I could've ever fathomed loving another person. The moment he was born I knew that if I never did anything else important in my life, this would be enough.   Who knew I could create something so perfect?!  It's astonishing.

~Blueberry pancakes, white nectarines in the summer, tacos, sushi, white wine and chocolate.   All not at the same time please.

~ Music, I love it... can't get enough. Love the vibe in my bones and the chills that I get in my arms when I hear a song I love, turn it up yo!

~Art and beauty, anything that visually stimulates. Flowers, beautiful people (I love to people watch...mostly because I'm a nosy beotch but for other reasons also), and nature.

~The rain. The Garbage song 'I'm only happy when it rains' seriously applies in my case. I'm a big fan of cool, rainy, foggy weather. Apart from my hair being unmanageable and not being able to wear heels in the rain... it's pretty well perfect for me. Gotta love a roaring fire in the fire place and the sounds of drops on the ground, and the smell on the wet pavement... that's the best! I should move to Seattle. 

~Quite possibly may be one of the most phenomenal thing in life, a good pedicure. And by that I mean GOOD, cause it can go wrong very quickly! If the person is in a rush, if they don't have good technique, a good pedicure is like good sex... really satisfying, if not it just sucks; there really isn't an 'in between'. There's this cozy nail shop up the street from me and it's a gem! They scrub the hell out of the bottom of your feet and massage for quite a while, never long enough...because there's no such thing, but quite a while. And each moment is deliriously good!!

~Having my fridge fully stocked full of fresh produce, fruits and veggies,  farmers market style. Makes me feel semi healthy and good to be alive.

~When the house has just been cleaned, and I've taken a nice warm bubble bath, I put my feet up and relish in the days accomplishments I've made... even if they seem small, I'm still chipping away at the ole 'To do list.' 

~Shopping trips where I can blow a large wad o' cash, which is very rare. The smell of suede boots, and leather purses. The feel of silk blouses and sharp jeans, bangles and chandelier earrings.   Is there anything better?  Does this make me a shallow chick?  Maybe, or maybe I just have great appreciation for things that make me feel good. Okay moving on so I don't become depressed..

~ Laying next to Adam on fresh sheets straight out of the dryer after a bleach and downy wash, and the smell of his deodorant. No joke! Have to snuggle into his pits to get a good whiff! Sounds totally gross... but the man has zero body odor, pisses me off a tad!

~Classic movies, the ones that I can obnoxiously sing along to LOUDLY!! Hubby rolls his eyes, Caleb loves it!  I've turned my son into a toddler that knows all the tunes to the Wizard of Oz & My fair lady.  I'm so proud.

~Lazy beach bum days, I used to have these on a regular basis........
Stopping off for shrimp tacos and cadillac margaritas (on the rocks), slathering up in sunscreen, opening up the moonroof and the windows and letting the sea breeze smack me in the face.  Lying, bit ass up in the air on a towel, .knowing that no matter how much sunscreen I apply I still come home slightly pink.
Watching Caleb try to eat sand, and Adam try to stop him while I pour into a really juicy tabloid.

Quirky but not so cute, a list of... erh.. silly things about the human race.

Please just don't:  EVER!

I've said this time and time again. It is never okay to pick, pull, tweak, or itch your nose while driving. No matter who you think is or isn't looking,  someone is always watching. I once watched an asian man eat the junk that came out of his nose as he putted along in heavy traffic in his honda civic hybrid. Great, so he's trying to live green but I doubt one tissue would have set the dude back.

Asking how far along someone is when you don't know for CERTAIN that they are actually pregnant! Not okay people!!

Also, touching a strangers pregnant belly.  A very strange woman walked up to me in a parking lot when I was about 8 months along with Caleb and tried to rub me like a I was a living Buddha! I could have very well bitch slapped her and had a valid reason. Ask before you put your hands on a person you do not know, common courtesy.  Next time, I'll throw down!

To fart, burp or talk about bodily functions at the dinner table. Talking about bodily functions is never really acceptable unless you are doing a commercial for Metamucil. I don't want to know, in fact I'm pretty sure nobody does. Keep your pooo sessions to yourself. 

Wearing one color head to toe. Black is really the only exception.
Purple hat, purple top, and purple boots only makes you look like a lonely 60 year old women with 25 cats, or a pimp. I'd personally rather be a pimp.

This is for the girls and some boys. Please stop telling everyone how incredibly enormous you feel! Nobody wants to have to constantly appease your self image. Yes we all have our larger days, and I've had a few of them myself as of lately. But oHHHH eMMMM gEEEE one gets tired of hearing us whine about how FAT we are.
Exceptions: Feel free to confide in Bff's or your significant other, or when you're PMSING or after you've just downed a tub of Ben and Jerry's chunky monkey, then feel free to confide in anyone that will listen.

On a more serious note this one is important.  Issues like this really anger me. It's never okay to attach prominent issues to race. Sure we love our president or we don't (I personally am not a fan) but either way, we did not elect him because of the color of his skin. We elected him because he was the most qualified candidate, right?! Ideally yes, but no.  Not exactly what happened!  A HUGE percent of the black population that had never voted before chose to vote in this election and guess who for?  WHYYYY?? It should have ZERO to do with ethnicity. If he was asian, hispanic or white would it have changed what he stands for?! I'm tired of hearing 'Finally one of our people is in office!' What does that mean exactly?? Aren't we all ONE PEOPLE, one nation under God? This type of behavior is offensive and separates and I'm not a fan of it. Lets put away the race card, it's really about dang time. 

To cut off, tail gate, or honk your horn at someone who is going the speed limit and obeying the law. This gives a person perfect right to flip you off multiple times, run you off the road, and beat the ever living crap out of you. If you don't want this, it's best not to be an antagonist on the road... especially in California.

Never OK:
To chew with your mouth wide open.
To spit in public, seriously NAST-AY!
To not take into consideration others around you, meaning that if you have a lit cigarette kindly put it out if you are in a crowded area so as not to burn someone in the arm, or intoxicate others lungs around you.
To stiff on a tip when you had good service, simply because you are a tight wad! (See note on tipping etiquette).  Us servers... we remember you, we own bottles of visine!
To violently hurt someone even if they call you a horrendous name. Not really cool unless you are 5! Adults... we walk away.
Stealing someones parking spot.
Cutting in line. In fact, if you are shopping for a family of say 20?! And you have two hundred items in your cart, it might be nice to let the girl behind you with a bottle of shampoo and two tabloids go ahead of you at the grocery store. Just a thought.
To be on your phone while ordering food, or checking out at the register at any restaurant, grocery store, etc.  If you expect service from someone have the decency to GET OFF THE FUCKING PHONE NOW! 

To tell a person struggling financially that 'Money is the root of all evil anyways.' Those people can go straight to H E L L! They have never been poor, they have never had the joy of a welfare Christmas. Money may not make you happy but it sure can make you miserable & stressed beyond belief if you don't have it.

To try to take back used underwear.  I can recall a situation standing in line at Victorias Secret, it took about 15 minutes for the manager to finally give into the persistent woman in front of me that said her underwear wore out too quickly just to shut her up. Kinda makes you wonder what she was doing in them.  Just buy new ones.

To sport a mullet. To sport a backwards mullet, yes Kate Gosselien that goes for you. Nobody wants your hair cut, nobody likes it. 

To get your freak on in a public pool whilst children are swimming around you. It did happen believe it or not! My eyes bled a little.

To fart in a room, elevator or aisle way and then walk away leaving your poor friend to take the credit for it.  Listen, if you can't hold it in till you reach a restroom at least have the decency to claim it.


On a more serious note this one is important.  Issues like this really anger me. It's never okay to attach prominent issues to race. Sure we love our president or we don't (I personally am not a fan) but either way, we did not elect him because of the color of his skin. We elected him because he was the most qualified candidate, right?! Ideally yes, but no.  Not exactly what happened!  A HUGE percent of the black population that had never voted before chose to vote in this election and guess who for?  WHYYYY?? It should have ZERO to do with ethnicity. If he was asian, hispanic or white would it have changed what he stands for?! I'm tired of hearing 'Finally one of our people is in office!' What does that mean exactly?? Aren't we all ONE PEOPLE, one nation under God? This type of behavior is offensive and separates and I'm not a fan of it. Lets put away the race card, it's really about dang time.